Monday, June 4, 2012

Angels and Demons...

As human beings,we harbour an innate desire to find an explanation for everything,so that the world around us could make sense.Besides our sincere efforts, the world still remains incomprehensible.Considering the complexity and vastness of universe,it seems obvious. However,I am often surprised at the realization of how little we understand ourselves. I have never been able to understand why purple light mesmerizes me. I also harbor some strange attraction for all things purple. On looking at purple flowers I can sense some forgotten memory getting stimulated,though I can never actually perceive what I remember- deja vu!

I also can never understand why memory plays naughty tricks to me. While I often have to curse myself for not being able to remember significant things,sometimes at totally unexpected moments,when my thought process is following something quite irrelevant,some forgotten memory flashes in my mind-memory of some event,some person,some object or even of some forgotten smell. I don't know if such reverse deja vu happens to everyone.
Coming to deja vu,I remember being told as a child that we actually are able to perceive few future events in our sleep,though we don't remember them after waking up. And when these events Actually take place,we experience deja vu. My rational mind never allowed me to believe it after I grew up,but sometimes after encountering the stranger hidden in me,such concepts do fascinate me.
The things we unconsciously gather in our memories must be playing a significant role in shaping our personality as a whole. Though I say unconsciously,I wonder if this process is totally involuntary. In childhood,obviously circumstances play most important role. By circumstance,I mean everything including parents,their lifestyle,culture,friends and other people-playing a role of mentors,knowingly or unknowingly. Perhaps the rate of building up of this unconscious memory is maximum in the childhood. but with developing rationality of mind one can be selective to some extent. Selective,though not in the sense of what we remember,but at least in the matter of what we present to our memory to remember. I can't help remembering Gandhiji's three monkeys here. I absolutely don't mean to shut off doors to new experiences,but only being selective to filter off unwanted exposure to few drastic experiences,including few movies,games or for that matter few sources of such monstrosity in writing. I have seen people praising a movie or a book,for the impact it produced.Though the overall experience was unpleasant,such a work is rated on a higher scale just for the impact.Whereas what it actually means is some unnecessary and unpleasant input that is going to get registered in our unconscious memory and is somehow going to affect our future responses.


I remember a similar thing being mentioned in Rand's Atlas Shrugged. All evil things have a power to affect us very deeply. So it's better not to think of the evil things even a moment longer than is necessary to fight them.
Bypassing our perceptive awareness,these demons gain entry to the subtle realm of mind and make it a carrier for future maladies in days when it's weakened by adverse circumstances.
Unfortunately,more sensitive a mind is,it tends to have more thirst for enigmatic experiences,increasing its exposure to these deadly demons. Though most often,when it is a matter of circumstances,it is not possible to avoid them,one can at least try to be consciously aware of such an exposure and prevent having a profound influence on mind. The 'All Is Well' funda most certainly works.
Let alone the concepts of past life dramatized by film industry,our genetic makeup somehow carries the life of our several past generations in us. Life,in its very basic sense can be viewed as series of input-outputs and resulting consequences. Circumstances provide the input of experiences that we receive and our actions-basically the product of our mind-constitute the output. This in a way makes us select the next level of input,i.e,new circumstances,and determines the direction of our life's journey. Since the output we provide is a product of our mind,which in turn is shaped depending on previous inputs that we have received,the process is sometimes a vicious cycle. One's genetic makeup is affected by this input-output circuits and strangely thus,continues affecting future generations.
I have recently been reading a book by David Bohm, in which the concept of creative metaphor is beautifully explained.The creative play of mind somehow works by building up metaphors. For understanding something new,our mind compares it with something we already know. Even the perception of vision involves a similar play. As the author says,the overall disposition of the mind to apprehend objects in particular ways plays an important role in helping to select and give form to what is seen,i.e,to integrate a meaningless jumble of visual impressions into true seeing. Thus it can be said that unnecessary accumulation of negative data certainly affects the overall disposition of mind and the responses it generates.
One can argue here that it is not practical to avoid exposures to such negative experiences as they prepare,or say,toughen us for future adverse events. However,future always seems to be a step ahead of what we are prepared for. And even if someone consciously subjects himself to such exposures,for say,better knowledge of the world and the self,no human being is capable of being constantly aware of what is gaining entry into subconscious and affecting his self.
Considering all this,it is often necessary to cheat yourself with all is well sense,and irrespective of one's individual beliefs,the concept of god and divinity makes it easier to achieve such a sense. This perhaps is the reason for god being an inspiration for most of the works of arts for centuries...
Circumstances is something beyond our control but to some extent we can achieve a balance of these positive and negative exposures to protect the self. To quote Nietzsche, "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster himself. For if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”


Friday, June 1, 2012

Those sepia moments: Lights,Chimera,Action!






Scene I:age 6
            My Aunt's house.
             summer vacation.
             11:30 pm,everyone asleep.
Light: Night lamp.

  • I decide I'll have blonde hair when I grow up.      
  • I'm not going to tell Guddi about the golden ribbon I've hidden in backyard.
Scene 2:age 8
              My drawing.
Light:Green Lamp on the front porch of the house I have drawn.

 Haunted houses have green lamps-our latest invention in school! I add lightning in the dark blue sky. 

Scene 3:age 12
              our native place,midnight.
Light: Million stars in the cloudless sky.

           Sky is a curtain-jet black in colour.And the stars are holes-through which we get a glimpse of
           the heaven beyond.

Scene 4:age 16
              Diwali dawn.
Light: Orange kandil in the window.

           Everything divine is so serene...

Scene 5:age 22
              Mumbai-hanging gardens,7:30pm
Light: Thousand gems of the queen's necklace.

           This is the place... we'll be here one day.

Scene 6:age 24
              Local train window.
Light:Reflection of sun in otherwise dead salt water.
   
             This is how life is...wait for the sunny moments...   

Scene 7:age 25
              My room.
Light:that of my laptop in otherwise dark room
           & a glimpse of moon from branches outside the window.

I speak out of the deep of night
out of the deep of darkness
and out of the deep of night I speak. 
if you come to my house
friend,bring me a lamp
and a window I can look through
 at the crowd in the happy alley


Sunday, May 27, 2012

Mirage...



Dear morning,fresh and new,
with all your dazzle and dew,
look here, we are changing!

Yesterday,I met you...

where purple flowers beam 
and thousand rainbows gleam...

with those songs still in eyes

and colours humming in background,
 I agree,we are yet spellbound

but time slips in sand

and though hand in hand we stand,
balancing our steps...

look here,we are changing!




Far away,in the golden desert,

where the bearded monk still lives,
our nostalgic memories flicker... 
and to let an ancient dream recur,
the monk sends stories,
loaded in paper boats...

Sometimes from the secret realm,

those lilac evenings still land
and we run-with a lump in throat
to catch beloved paper boat-

just to stumble over a frozen dream

and to let out a horrid scream!

Too late,oh lord, we reckon,

why those muzzy mirages beckon
and yet chasing a glassy dream
Alas! we are changing.....

G-r-e-e-n!



 "Whatever we say a thing is,it isn't.

Whatever we say is words,and what we want to talk about is generally not words.

Whatever we mean by what we say is not what the thing actually is.
For the thing is always more than what we mean and is never exhausted by our concepts."






  



________________________________________________________________

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Shauk

Dinme, mittime mile shisheke tukdonme hum surajko chunate rahe
jabbhi raat hui,hum chandani udhar leke unhise ek khwab bunate rahe

kucch armaan jagese the,yun hi aa gaye
kuchh chale gaye the,kucch ruthe the
hum ratbhar shikayte sunate rahe

jabbhi raat aayi hum nasamzonko samzate rahe
din hua pata chala woh hamehi nasamzome ginte rahe

kucch shauk bhi ye ajibse hai,in chamkati ulazanonke
titliya to haath aati nahi, par rang samete aankhone yun,ke aasun rangeen bante rahe...


Monday, May 21, 2012

Souvenir




The darkness is deep,bitterness meaningful
this country is strange,its voices scary
I think I've never been here before

There is cry of a child and roar of a beast
lame innocence clutched in hands of rage

There are pits,craters,labyrinths
all so deep,deep with water
to quench the thirst,catch the moon
beast and child are there soon

This country is strange,its voices scary
I think I've never been here before
Oh,it's bitter-with pain and rage
yet why I think,I know this language...

Ah,don't mind... I'm crazy!!




Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Entropy! (A change within...)

One of the concepts which has always fascinated me,irrespective of the great technical details involved,is that of entropy.

We were first introduced to it in our thermodynamic classes. And in otherwise very dry,mechanical environment, wherein wondering about their sudden positive to negative mood swings, I have started hating all the 'P, V, H, I' etc, this 'S' thing brought my wandering mind back from the surrounding into the system!
                                                    Our prof. was explaining about a well arranged pack of cards. Once you start shuffling it, no matter how many times you go on shuffling it, the cards would never get arranged in their initial order.Such a stupidly simple thing if observed superficially. But turned out to be of great significance. Perhaps a very very fundamental rule obeyed by the whole universe.A tendency towards increasing disorder, measured as entropy.

Universe from its start is tending towards more and more randomness.
That is what is the 'nature' of the universe. And that was what we studied in physics.
Nature supports only those processes which involve a negative free energy change. Formulated by Gibb's equation, for a process to be spontaneous, either the enthalpy change should be negative or the entropy change should be positive. i.e, increasing randomness favors a process.
On the contrary, with organization, entropy decreases, as in case of man made machines, accumulated entropy has to be dissipated as heat for the machine to perform further work.

In chemistry, again the similar thing.
If there is an overall shift towards increased randomness, more likely the reaction is spontaneous.
If a large molecule breaks down to many smaller ones,more chances of the reaction being spontaneous.

If, a shift towards randomness is the rule of the nature, what is there to prove it?
One exception...
'LIFE!'

Where the whole discussion of entropy takes its most interesting form.

Though this might not be technically too accurate,somehow,the whole essence of life lies in breaking this very fundamental rule.
Every 'living' form has the basic tendency of getting organized.
Every cell is bounded by a membrane. Thus separating itself from the surrounding. Not just separating, but maintaining a totally different environment inside, than the surrounding.
It is the primary condition. Being in equilibrium with the surrounding simply means the end of life. And for perpetuation of life there is an ever reduction of entropy within that life form.
It maintains its different concentration- decrease in entropy.
It requires to build complex molecules from simpler ones- decrease in entropy.  
 More organized its structure gets- more decrease in entropy.
And then, more knowledge it acquires, more decrease in entropy.
A very nice technical term- 'Information Entropy.' One can find bytes and bytes and bytes on Internet explaining something which actually lies at the heart of every byte of information. For arranging totally random things into an order, meant to convey some meaning,i.e,information, there is reduction in entropy. As in case of letters arranged to form meaningful words, then sentences, and then a whole story!
And for this reduction in entropy, there is investment of energy. So we need more and more energy to create and store more and more information.

Now we are continuously  getting more and more organized. And accordingly, there is reduction in entropy.
More developed a living form is, more are its powers of perception, their interpretation, and then application. We, being human, are constantly perceiving our surroundings. Our magic brains interpret these perceptions to generate information. To decrease the entropy.
The thoughts flickering in our minds at tremendous speed, are actually meaningful cascades formed in the brain in fraction of second.

More and more we understand the universe, more and more we are disobeying its basic rule. How contradictory in itself!

But if one tries to look at it this way-
From where did life come into existence? From nature!
From where does it obtain its energy for survival?
From nature!
If we say we are gaining information, about what it actually is?
Again nature!

Nature has somehow violated its own rule, created us, and is providing energy for our perpetuation, simply in a quest to understand its own meaning.

Being in homogeneity with nature could not have served the purpose.
We have partly separated ourselves, perhaps for a better understanding!