Monday, June 4, 2012

Angels and Demons...

As human beings,we harbour an innate desire to find an explanation for everything,so that the world around us could make sense.Besides our sincere efforts, the world still remains incomprehensible.Considering the complexity and vastness of universe,it seems obvious. However,I am often surprised at the realization of how little we understand ourselves. I have never been able to understand why purple light mesmerizes me. I also harbor some strange attraction for all things purple. On looking at purple flowers I can sense some forgotten memory getting stimulated,though I can never actually perceive what I remember- deja vu!

I also can never understand why memory plays naughty tricks to me. While I often have to curse myself for not being able to remember significant things,sometimes at totally unexpected moments,when my thought process is following something quite irrelevant,some forgotten memory flashes in my mind-memory of some event,some person,some object or even of some forgotten smell. I don't know if such reverse deja vu happens to everyone.
Coming to deja vu,I remember being told as a child that we actually are able to perceive few future events in our sleep,though we don't remember them after waking up. And when these events Actually take place,we experience deja vu. My rational mind never allowed me to believe it after I grew up,but sometimes after encountering the stranger hidden in me,such concepts do fascinate me.
The things we unconsciously gather in our memories must be playing a significant role in shaping our personality as a whole. Though I say unconsciously,I wonder if this process is totally involuntary. In childhood,obviously circumstances play most important role. By circumstance,I mean everything including parents,their lifestyle,culture,friends and other people-playing a role of mentors,knowingly or unknowingly. Perhaps the rate of building up of this unconscious memory is maximum in the childhood. but with developing rationality of mind one can be selective to some extent. Selective,though not in the sense of what we remember,but at least in the matter of what we present to our memory to remember. I can't help remembering Gandhiji's three monkeys here. I absolutely don't mean to shut off doors to new experiences,but only being selective to filter off unwanted exposure to few drastic experiences,including few movies,games or for that matter few sources of such monstrosity in writing. I have seen people praising a movie or a book,for the impact it produced.Though the overall experience was unpleasant,such a work is rated on a higher scale just for the impact.Whereas what it actually means is some unnecessary and unpleasant input that is going to get registered in our unconscious memory and is somehow going to affect our future responses.


I remember a similar thing being mentioned in Rand's Atlas Shrugged. All evil things have a power to affect us very deeply. So it's better not to think of the evil things even a moment longer than is necessary to fight them.
Bypassing our perceptive awareness,these demons gain entry to the subtle realm of mind and make it a carrier for future maladies in days when it's weakened by adverse circumstances.
Unfortunately,more sensitive a mind is,it tends to have more thirst for enigmatic experiences,increasing its exposure to these deadly demons. Though most often,when it is a matter of circumstances,it is not possible to avoid them,one can at least try to be consciously aware of such an exposure and prevent having a profound influence on mind. The 'All Is Well' funda most certainly works.
Let alone the concepts of past life dramatized by film industry,our genetic makeup somehow carries the life of our several past generations in us. Life,in its very basic sense can be viewed as series of input-outputs and resulting consequences. Circumstances provide the input of experiences that we receive and our actions-basically the product of our mind-constitute the output. This in a way makes us select the next level of input,i.e,new circumstances,and determines the direction of our life's journey. Since the output we provide is a product of our mind,which in turn is shaped depending on previous inputs that we have received,the process is sometimes a vicious cycle. One's genetic makeup is affected by this input-output circuits and strangely thus,continues affecting future generations.
I have recently been reading a book by David Bohm, in which the concept of creative metaphor is beautifully explained.The creative play of mind somehow works by building up metaphors. For understanding something new,our mind compares it with something we already know. Even the perception of vision involves a similar play. As the author says,the overall disposition of the mind to apprehend objects in particular ways plays an important role in helping to select and give form to what is seen,i.e,to integrate a meaningless jumble of visual impressions into true seeing. Thus it can be said that unnecessary accumulation of negative data certainly affects the overall disposition of mind and the responses it generates.
One can argue here that it is not practical to avoid exposures to such negative experiences as they prepare,or say,toughen us for future adverse events. However,future always seems to be a step ahead of what we are prepared for. And even if someone consciously subjects himself to such exposures,for say,better knowledge of the world and the self,no human being is capable of being constantly aware of what is gaining entry into subconscious and affecting his self.
Considering all this,it is often necessary to cheat yourself with all is well sense,and irrespective of one's individual beliefs,the concept of god and divinity makes it easier to achieve such a sense. This perhaps is the reason for god being an inspiration for most of the works of arts for centuries...
Circumstances is something beyond our control but to some extent we can achieve a balance of these positive and negative exposures to protect the self. To quote Nietzsche, "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster himself. For if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”


Friday, June 1, 2012

Those sepia moments: Lights,Chimera,Action!






Scene I:age 6
            My Aunt's house.
             summer vacation.
             11:30 pm,everyone asleep.
Light: Night lamp.

  • I decide I'll have blonde hair when I grow up.      
  • I'm not going to tell Guddi about the golden ribbon I've hidden in backyard.
Scene 2:age 8
              My drawing.
Light:Green Lamp on the front porch of the house I have drawn.

 Haunted houses have green lamps-our latest invention in school! I add lightning in the dark blue sky. 

Scene 3:age 12
              our native place,midnight.
Light: Million stars in the cloudless sky.

           Sky is a curtain-jet black in colour.And the stars are holes-through which we get a glimpse of
           the heaven beyond.

Scene 4:age 16
              Diwali dawn.
Light: Orange kandil in the window.

           Everything divine is so serene...

Scene 5:age 22
              Mumbai-hanging gardens,7:30pm
Light: Thousand gems of the queen's necklace.

           This is the place... we'll be here one day.

Scene 6:age 24
              Local train window.
Light:Reflection of sun in otherwise dead salt water.
   
             This is how life is...wait for the sunny moments...   

Scene 7:age 25
              My room.
Light:that of my laptop in otherwise dark room
           & a glimpse of moon from branches outside the window.

I speak out of the deep of night
out of the deep of darkness
and out of the deep of night I speak. 
if you come to my house
friend,bring me a lamp
and a window I can look through
 at the crowd in the happy alley